I want a movie about a kid who just so happens to be born a Classic Gothic Hero, but in modern day. His name would be like Byron Dangerfield or something.
Whenever he has EMOTIONS, there are claps of thunder and lightning. Every time he leans against a piece of furniture, it turns out to open a secret passageway leading to some dark secret, until eventually he’s just like “REALLY, GUYS?” All bad dreams are prophetic, even if it’s just that Starbucks will be out of pumpkin spice syrup the next day. Every girl he talks to swoons a lot and has a tyrannical heavy-browed father who are all played by the same actor. Ravens flock around him.
There are inexplicably paintings with moving eyes and moving suits of armor everywhere he goes, even McDonalds. Every time he moves to a new apartment, there is ALWAYS a screaming woman chained up in the room above his, and she invariably sets the place on fire. He’s so over it.
"Baby your words say yes but the shape of your upper lip says Chastity so I’m just gonna assume a tragic backstory of love betrayed"
"Hey baby you wanna learn about REAL French kissing, it’s much better than English kissing, Shakespeare told me so in a seance"
"It’s what’s inside that counts, and by that I mean your fecal matter,do you know how much the average person’s daily waste is worth, even more if you have a good diet, we could eliminate taxation if we just installed composting toilets"
"Stop you’re making me blush and consider a life of idleness and crime which I will blame entirely on your gender"
"Are you an embodied symbol of the justice of the ideal Republic because I just wrote five hundred words about your hair"
Pissed off:either in the context of being angry, or having left a place.
Piss Up:an event containing alcohol.
Pissing down:Raining heavily.
Pissed on:usually used to describe being rained on.
Piss around:dawdle or delay; procrastinate.
Pissing contest:attempting to prove one's abilities are better than someone else's, for no discernible gain.
Piss faced (see also 'shitfaced'):inebriated.
Pissy:either angry, or something very small.
Piss-poor/piss-weak:weak or disappointing.
Piss head:Alcoholic individual.
As an example:George and some other piss head got into a pissing contest, where George put in a piss poor effort and got pissed off because it started pissing down. He'd figured it would be piss easy to win, so he was pissy and spent the rest of the afternoon pissing around before deciding to piss off and avoid getting pissed on any further by the rain.
“New York, I love you, but you’re bringing me down
Like a death of the heart
Jesus, where do I start
Still you’re the one pool where I’d happily drown”—LCD Soundsystem, “New York, I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down”
“Courfeyrac and Bossuet, whose brave good humor increased with the peril, like Madame Scarron, replaced nourishment with pleasantry, and, as wine was lacking, they poured out gayety to all.”—Victor Hugo, Les Misérables (via drinkwithmegrantaire)
I was already following you! I don’t remember when or why I came across you. Probably for SPN? I so rarely come across DoL fans, though, and I’m overjoyed when I do! Feel free to invade my inbox about those books at any time.
…SPN? Jaysus how long have you been following me then? Lol sorry I’m trash, I haven’t paid attention to my follower list in a really long time. But sometimes I feel like the only people on tumblr who’ve heard of DoL I already follow. That’s great though!